I must say my lenten journey started even before Lent began. I was so caught up with a radical lenten idea that I had come up with, a day-by-day, 40 steps lenten journey booklet for my choir. Which means I had read through the gospels of Lent, reflected over them, and come up with an "action item" for my choir for each of the days of Lent. While I think the book could be improved, I think it's been a good journey so far. Though I honestly must admit I can't do my own book as well because well, I designed it and already know what to do. So perhaps, the irony was, the designer of the book can perhaps not fully reap the benefits the other participants of the book could. I don't know, but perhaps I'm just being too spiritually proud here. =(
I've tried to make time for God... It's a struggle each day to die to myself, to accept challenges, to even find time for God. I've noted that my best times for Lauds and Vespers appear to be on public transport to and from work. :( I've noted that other times are spent busy with work or trying to be busy with work, or other pursuits like catching up with people whom I've not had the pleasure of catching up with for some time over FB/MSN, or being the listening ear to someone who suddenly comes out of the blue asking for something - it's happened unusually often this lent for me. This in the midst of trying to see God in my daily life.
Then something happened. A friend of mine caught up with me, and we spent some time just catching up... And she left me with thought provoking words this Lent. While it's true I'm discerning the priesthood, and it's true that the CER perhaps took down a lot of the walls for me and allowed me a beautiful indifference that I can finally begin to appreciate, it's also perhaps time for me to remember to be patient and trust in God's time, because God's time is the best time. So this Lent, while I might not be doing very much, I'm trying my level best to see God in little things.. In actions, in interactions, in my prayer, in my struggling to STAY with the Lord, and just about in dying to my sinful self, of being mindful of my pride, my laziness, my many other flaws... And constantly offering it all to God and asking him to help me become a better person.
This Lent is one that I believe I need to continue to die to myself and just surrender to the great grace of God. As my experience in CER shows, I still thank God for showing me his love, mercy and grace... For filling me with peace, joy and contentment. But baby steps in my faith because I want to build a rock solid foundation for God to build me up on - to do his work, his will, and help build his kingdom.
So as I continue to discern God's calling, I pray for the patience and grace to be docile to the promptings of God's spirit, to do his will and accept it fully - even though at times it challenges me to go beyond my human nature, my human inclination, my limitations. Because I believe, with and through God, anything and everything is possible.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Contemplating the Lord's passion
True reverence for the Lord’s passion means fixing the eyes of our heart on Jesus crucified and recognising in him our own humanity.
No one, however weak, is denied a share in the victory of the cross. No one is beyond the help of the prayer of Christ. His prayer brought benefit to the multitude that raged against him. How much more does it bring to those who turn to him in repentance.
The business of this life should not preoccupy us with its anxiety and pride, so that we no longer strive with all the love of our heart to be like our Redeemer, and to follow his example. Everything that he did or suffered was for our salvation: he wanted his body to share the goodness of its head.
First of all, in taking our human nature while remaining God, so that the Word became man, he left no member of the human race, the unbeliever excepted, without a share in his mercy. Who does not share a common nature with Christ if he has welcomed Christ, who took our nature, and is reborn in the Spirit through whom Christ was conceived?
Again, who cannot recognise in Christ his own infirmities? Who would not recognise that Christ’s eating and sleeping, his sadness and his shedding of tears of love are marks of the nature of a slave?
It was this nature of a slave that had to be healed of its ancient wounds and cleansed of the defilement of sin. For that reason the only-begotten Son of God became also the son of man. He was to have both the reality of a human nature and the fullness of the godhead.
The body that lay lifeless in the tomb is ours. The body that rose again on the third day is ours. The body that ascended above all the heights of heaven to the right hand of the Father’s glory is ours. If then we walk in the way of his commandments, and are not ashamed to acknowledge the price he paid for our salvation in a lowly body, we too are to rise to share his glory. The promise he made will be fulfilled in the sight of all: Whoever acknowledges me before men, I too will acknowledge him before my Father who is in heaven.
- Pope St Leo the Great
No one, however weak, is denied a share in the victory of the cross. No one is beyond the help of the prayer of Christ. His prayer brought benefit to the multitude that raged against him. How much more does it bring to those who turn to him in repentance.
The business of this life should not preoccupy us with its anxiety and pride, so that we no longer strive with all the love of our heart to be like our Redeemer, and to follow his example. Everything that he did or suffered was for our salvation: he wanted his body to share the goodness of its head.
First of all, in taking our human nature while remaining God, so that the Word became man, he left no member of the human race, the unbeliever excepted, without a share in his mercy. Who does not share a common nature with Christ if he has welcomed Christ, who took our nature, and is reborn in the Spirit through whom Christ was conceived?
Again, who cannot recognise in Christ his own infirmities? Who would not recognise that Christ’s eating and sleeping, his sadness and his shedding of tears of love are marks of the nature of a slave?
It was this nature of a slave that had to be healed of its ancient wounds and cleansed of the defilement of sin. For that reason the only-begotten Son of God became also the son of man. He was to have both the reality of a human nature and the fullness of the godhead.
The body that lay lifeless in the tomb is ours. The body that rose again on the third day is ours. The body that ascended above all the heights of heaven to the right hand of the Father’s glory is ours. If then we walk in the way of his commandments, and are not ashamed to acknowledge the price he paid for our salvation in a lowly body, we too are to rise to share his glory. The promise he made will be fulfilled in the sight of all: Whoever acknowledges me before men, I too will acknowledge him before my Father who is in heaven.
- Pope St Leo the Great
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The mercy of God to the penitent
God’s will is to save us, and nothing pleases him more than our coming back to him with true repentance. The heralds of truth and the ministers of divine grace have told us this from the beginning, repeating it in every age.
Indeed, God’s desire for our salvation is the primary and pre-eminent sign of his infinite goodness. Precisely in order to show that there is nothing closer to God’s heart than this, the divine Word of God the Father, with untold condescension, lived among us in the flesh, and did, suffered, and said all that was necessary to reconcile us to God the Father, when we were at enmity with him, and to restore us to the life of blessedness from which we had been exiled.
He healed our physical infirmities by miracles; he freed us from our sins, many and grievous as they were, by suffering and dying, taking them upon himself as if he were answerable for them, sinless though he was. He also taught us in many different ways that we should wish to imitate him by our own kindness and genuine love for one another.
So it was that Christ proclaimed that he had come to call sinners to repentance, not the righteous, and that it was not the healthy who required a doctor, but the sick. He declared that he had come to look for the sheep that was lost, and that it was to the lost sheep of the house of Israel that he had been sent. Speaking more obscurely in the parable of the silver coin, he tells us that the purpose of his coming was to reclaim the royal image, which had been coated with the filth of sin. “You can be sure there is joy in heaven’, he said, over one sinner who repents.
To give the same lesson he revived the man who, having fallen into the hands of the brigands, had been left stripped and half-dead from his wounds; he poured wine and oil on the wounds, bandaged them, placed the man on his own mule and brought him to an inn, where he left sufficient money to have him cared for, and promised to repay any further expense on his return.
Again, he told of how that Father, who is goodness itself, was moved with pity for his profligate son who returned and made amends by repentance; how he embraced him, dressed him once more in the fine garments that befitted his own dignity, and did not reproach him for any of his sins.
So too, when he found wandering in the mountains and hills the one sheep that had strayed from God’s flock of a hundred, he brought it back to the fold, but he did not exhaust it by driving it ahead of him. Instead, he placed it on his own shoulders and so, compassionately, he restored it safely to the flock.
So also he cried out: Come to me, all you that toil and are heavy of heart. Accept my yoke’, he said, by which he meant his commands, or rather, the whole way of life that he taught us in the Gospel. He then speaks of a burden, but that is only because repentance seems difficult. In fact, however, my yoke is easy, he assures us, and my burden is light.
Then again he instructs us in divine justice and goodness, telling us to be like our heavenly Father, holy, perfect and merciful. Forgive, he says, and you will be forgiven. Behave toward other people as you would wish them to behave toward you.
- From a letter by St Maximus the Confessor
Indeed, God’s desire for our salvation is the primary and pre-eminent sign of his infinite goodness. Precisely in order to show that there is nothing closer to God’s heart than this, the divine Word of God the Father, with untold condescension, lived among us in the flesh, and did, suffered, and said all that was necessary to reconcile us to God the Father, when we were at enmity with him, and to restore us to the life of blessedness from which we had been exiled.
He healed our physical infirmities by miracles; he freed us from our sins, many and grievous as they were, by suffering and dying, taking them upon himself as if he were answerable for them, sinless though he was. He also taught us in many different ways that we should wish to imitate him by our own kindness and genuine love for one another.
So it was that Christ proclaimed that he had come to call sinners to repentance, not the righteous, and that it was not the healthy who required a doctor, but the sick. He declared that he had come to look for the sheep that was lost, and that it was to the lost sheep of the house of Israel that he had been sent. Speaking more obscurely in the parable of the silver coin, he tells us that the purpose of his coming was to reclaim the royal image, which had been coated with the filth of sin. “You can be sure there is joy in heaven’, he said, over one sinner who repents.
To give the same lesson he revived the man who, having fallen into the hands of the brigands, had been left stripped and half-dead from his wounds; he poured wine and oil on the wounds, bandaged them, placed the man on his own mule and brought him to an inn, where he left sufficient money to have him cared for, and promised to repay any further expense on his return.
Again, he told of how that Father, who is goodness itself, was moved with pity for his profligate son who returned and made amends by repentance; how he embraced him, dressed him once more in the fine garments that befitted his own dignity, and did not reproach him for any of his sins.
So too, when he found wandering in the mountains and hills the one sheep that had strayed from God’s flock of a hundred, he brought it back to the fold, but he did not exhaust it by driving it ahead of him. Instead, he placed it on his own shoulders and so, compassionately, he restored it safely to the flock.
So also he cried out: Come to me, all you that toil and are heavy of heart. Accept my yoke’, he said, by which he meant his commands, or rather, the whole way of life that he taught us in the Gospel. He then speaks of a burden, but that is only because repentance seems difficult. In fact, however, my yoke is easy, he assures us, and my burden is light.
Then again he instructs us in divine justice and goodness, telling us to be like our heavenly Father, holy, perfect and merciful. Forgive, he says, and you will be forgiven. Behave toward other people as you would wish them to behave toward you.
- From a letter by St Maximus the Confessor
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My own world (a sharing by Lynette Chen)
"His blindness has nothing to do with his sins or parent's sin. He is blind so that God's power might be seen at work." - John 9: 1-41
This struck me the whole evening yesterday. When I heard it at mass, I felt God was talking to me. Blindness is something negative and how this blindness relate to me was that I kind of feel I am a lousy person, not able to handle my life well, just felt negative about myself probably all these can be led to sinning. However this verse assured me that I am born this way to show the goodness that God has showered on me. It is nothing wrong to be who I am I am now. I am a human and there is nothing wrong if I sin but must repent even if I kept failing.
I feel that I am kind of engulfed totally into the world of my own and in this world just revolves around career (work, school), personal pleasure, money. Once a while I will come out of the world when being called to but eventually slipped back into the world of my own. In this world of my own, at first it seemed to be still under controlled but started to be uncontrolled. One example was that I lost control and scolded my patient. She was just screaming away for the physio therapist to go over to her while I was trying to explain something to another patient and my physio therapist already told her to hang on as he was attending to another patient too. I was not able to keep my cool and appearently one relative, one colleague and of course the physio heard me. I was not remoseful and thought that it was great of me because never have I lost my cool before at work. Those that heard me actually was on my side and felt nothing wrong about it but as a child of God it's totally wrong. If they can see how it was able to handle her peacefully, it would really portray God's love and patience for sinners.
I was reflecting why am I working my guts out? Missing break times, staying back till I complete, taking my time to do what ought to be done slow..What's the point? What's the point? What's the point? Whatever I am sacrificing just does not tally with the pay I am getting or job satisfaction. I asked myself repeatedly what's the meaning? I realised the meaning that it was not a job just for the money or glamour or noble but it's for Him. He calls me to treat each patient as my loved ones as He loves them so much too. That's why I have been able to keep my cool so far and trying my best to go all out and that's why I have caregiver stress.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Christ gives strength to conquer evil through grace of Baptism
Pope Benedict said that an illustration of this joy can be found in the story of the blind man healed by Jesus in the Sunday reading from the Gospel of John. The blind man not only gains his physical sight but comes to believe in Christ.
Everyone, “due to the sin of Adam were born 'blind,' but in the baptismal font we were illuminated by the grace of Christ,” he said. “Sin wounded humanity and destined it to the darkness of death, but in Christ shines the newness of life and the goal to which we are called.”
“In Him,” the Pope said, “reinvigorated by the Holy Spirit, we receive the strength to conquer evil and do good.”
The Pope pointed out that in the Gospel reading, those within the narrative have starkly different reactions to the miracle. The blind man himself goes through a gradual “walk of faith.” He meets Jesus who heals him, considers him a prophet, then his spiritual “eyes” are opened to see Christ as the Son of God.
However, the Pharisees do not accept the miracle as they do not accept Jesus as the Messiah and the once blind man's parents are now fearful of judgment.
The Pope asked, “what attitude do we assume before Jesus?”
“Christian life,” he said, “is a continuous conformation to Christ, the image of the new man, to reach a full communion with God. The Lord Jesus is 'the light of the world,' because in Him 'shines the knowledge of the glory of God' which continues to reveal the sense of human existence in the complex storyline of history.”
Everyone, “due to the sin of Adam were born 'blind,' but in the baptismal font we were illuminated by the grace of Christ,” he said. “Sin wounded humanity and destined it to the darkness of death, but in Christ shines the newness of life and the goal to which we are called.”
“In Him,” the Pope said, “reinvigorated by the Holy Spirit, we receive the strength to conquer evil and do good.”
The Pope pointed out that in the Gospel reading, those within the narrative have starkly different reactions to the miracle. The blind man himself goes through a gradual “walk of faith.” He meets Jesus who heals him, considers him a prophet, then his spiritual “eyes” are opened to see Christ as the Son of God.
However, the Pharisees do not accept the miracle as they do not accept Jesus as the Messiah and the once blind man's parents are now fearful of judgment.
The Pope asked, “what attitude do we assume before Jesus?”
“Christian life,” he said, “is a continuous conformation to Christ, the image of the new man, to reach a full communion with God. The Lord Jesus is 'the light of the world,' because in Him 'shines the knowledge of the glory of God' which continues to reveal the sense of human existence in the complex storyline of history.”
Prayer of St Patrick
As I arise today,
May the strength of God pilot me,
The power of God uphold me,
The wisdom of God guide me.
May the eye of God look before me,
The ear of God hear me,
The word of God speak for me.
May the hand of God protect me,
The way of God lie before me,
The shield of God defend me,
The host of God save me.
May Christ shield me today.
Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit,
Christ when I stand,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
Amen.
- St Patrick of Ireland, Bishop and Missionary
May the strength of God pilot me,
The power of God uphold me,
The wisdom of God guide me.
May the eye of God look before me,
The ear of God hear me,
The word of God speak for me.
May the hand of God protect me,
The way of God lie before me,
The shield of God defend me,
The host of God save me.
May Christ shield me today.
Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit,
Christ when I stand,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
Amen.
- St Patrick of Ireland, Bishop and Missionary
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Christ is the way to the light, the truth and the life
Happy fourth Sunday of Lent. Here's something by St Augustine to help kickstart your last 18 days in Lent:
The Lord tells us: I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. In these few words he gives a command and makes a promise. Let us do what he commands so that we may not blush to covet what he promises and to hear him say on the day of judgement: “I laid down certain conditions for obtaining my promises. Have you fulfilled them?” If you say: “What did you command, Lord our God?” he will tell you: “I commanded you to follow me. You asked for advice on how to enter into life. What life, if not the life about which it is written: With you is the fountain of life?”
Let us do now what he commands. Let us follow in the footsteps of the Lord. Let us throw off the chains that prevent us from following him. Who can throw off these shackles without the aid of the one addressed in these words: You have broken my chains? Another psalm says of him: The Lord frees those in chains, the Lord raises up the downcast.
Those who have been freed and raised up follow the light. The light they follow speaks to them: I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness. The Lord gives light to the blind. Brethren, that light shines on us now, for we have had our eyes anointed with the eye-salve of faith. His saliva was mixed with earth to anoint the man born blind. We are of Adam’s stock, blind from our birth; we need him to give us light. He mixed saliva with earth, and so it was prophesied: Truth has sprung up from the earth. He himself has said: I am the way, the truth and the life.
We shall be in possession of the truth when we see face to face. This is his promise to us. Who would dare to hope for something that God in his goodness did not choose to promise or bestow?
We shall see face to face. The Apostle says: Now I know in part, now obscurely through a mirror, but then face to face. John the Apostle says in one of his letters: Dearly beloved, we are now children of God, and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be. We know that when he is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. This is a great promise.
If you love me, follow me. “I do love you,” you protest, “but how do I follow you?” If the Lord your God said to you: “I am the truth and the life,” in your desire for truth, in your love for life, you would certainly ask him to show you the way to reach them. You would say to yourself: “Truth is a great reality, life is a great reality; if only it were possible for my soul to find them!”
The Lord tells us: I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. In these few words he gives a command and makes a promise. Let us do what he commands so that we may not blush to covet what he promises and to hear him say on the day of judgement: “I laid down certain conditions for obtaining my promises. Have you fulfilled them?” If you say: “What did you command, Lord our God?” he will tell you: “I commanded you to follow me. You asked for advice on how to enter into life. What life, if not the life about which it is written: With you is the fountain of life?”
Let us do now what he commands. Let us follow in the footsteps of the Lord. Let us throw off the chains that prevent us from following him. Who can throw off these shackles without the aid of the one addressed in these words: You have broken my chains? Another psalm says of him: The Lord frees those in chains, the Lord raises up the downcast.
Those who have been freed and raised up follow the light. The light they follow speaks to them: I am the light of the world; he who follows me will not walk in darkness. The Lord gives light to the blind. Brethren, that light shines on us now, for we have had our eyes anointed with the eye-salve of faith. His saliva was mixed with earth to anoint the man born blind. We are of Adam’s stock, blind from our birth; we need him to give us light. He mixed saliva with earth, and so it was prophesied: Truth has sprung up from the earth. He himself has said: I am the way, the truth and the life.
We shall be in possession of the truth when we see face to face. This is his promise to us. Who would dare to hope for something that God in his goodness did not choose to promise or bestow?
We shall see face to face. The Apostle says: Now I know in part, now obscurely through a mirror, but then face to face. John the Apostle says in one of his letters: Dearly beloved, we are now children of God, and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be. We know that when he is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. This is a great promise.
If you love me, follow me. “I do love you,” you protest, “but how do I follow you?” If the Lord your God said to you: “I am the truth and the life,” in your desire for truth, in your love for life, you would certainly ask him to show you the way to reach them. You would say to yourself: “Truth is a great reality, life is a great reality; if only it were possible for my soul to find them!”
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