Behold, now is a very acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. 2 Cor 6:2
I was struck by the phrase, “Now is a very acceptable time” in the readings on Ash Wednesday. In most of my years as Catholic, I have always perceived Lent as a period of “suffering” and self-denial. We choose to subtract something that we love from our daily lives, we are invited to pray and care for others more and when we fail, guilt shows itself. And what is so acceptable and wonderful about suffering, self-denial and guilt? It is particularly difficult for me because my birthday always fall in Lent and I often feel terrible when I celebrate it since it's Lent.
This goes to show how shallow and superficial my understanding of this blessed season was. While the three pillars of Lenten program are fasting, prayer and almsgiving, these practices are instituted to enable us to come closer to the Lord by yearning for Him in our lives. They are not an ends in themselves and certainly are not meant to instill guilt and negative feelings in me. This is a season of grace because God is seeking to reestablish a close, personal and intimate relationship with me. As I spend more time in prayer and reflection, this theme repeats itself over and over again and I am touched beyond words as I rediscover the depths of God's love and mercy for me and for each of us.
The truth is distance has crept into my relationship with God. Even though I fulfill my Sunday obligation, pray to God spontaneously and know that He is my personal God, my life was far from living this truth. I was anxious and worried about my future, mostly focused on my ego and I didn't even consider God in the equation. I sought for directions and wisdom in many avenues and left God out of the picture. And yet God has never forgotten me. Neither does He judge me as I would judge myself. About a week before Ash Wednesday the Holy Sprit prompted me to seek God in writing. As I started to journal and recommit myself to Him, it marked my homecoming to my God, the one that I once share a deep and personal relationship with. I realise how much I have missed this intimate relationship with Him and experiencing His presence in my daily life. God is amazing because right about this time, I came to learn about the scripture reflections that Father William Goh writes for Catholic Spirituality Center's website. I would like to share a particular segment that has struck me here.
“The disposition towards Lent is not one of putting on “a gloomy look as the hypocrites do.” Rather, it is a joyful experience of being liberated from our sins and our bondage. The emphasis is not so much of having to make sacrifices and doing penances, but of being liberated for love and compassion.”
A joyful experience of being liberated from our sins and our bondage. How powerful! This couldn't be more true for me. Consequently, this daily reflection has become another source of inspiration and it has helped me tremendously as I continue to learn about God and reconnect with Him. Instead of relying on my own intellect and strength, I turn to God and ask for His guidance and direction in all aspects of my life.
In conclusion, even though my Lenten observances have not been perfect I know categorically that my relationship with my personal God has been restored. Like the prodigal son I have been homesick and finally I got my act together and return to my source of love and God has welcomed me with arms wide open. How appropriate that it should occur during this blessed season of Lent. For that I am truly grateful and I pray that this experience will give me the courage to respond to God's love by exercising the same love, compassion and mercy towards myself and others.
No comments:
Post a Comment