My Lenten Reflections

This period [has been] bad for me - really filled with term papers, tests and projects. Coincidentally, it falls within the Lenten period when we're supposed to pray more and draw closer to God. Perhaps, it's a test from God for me. Or perhaps it's the devil trying to use this to pull me away from God. But whatever the case, retrospectively, I think I've fallen many times during this journey. I've abandoned my crosses, did not keep to my resolutions, and failed to examine myself fully and the purpose of Lent for me.

But for the past 5 weeks, I've certainly learnt 1 very valuable lesson from God: even if man may be unfaithful, God is always faithful! As I've journeyed and fallen many times in the 'desert' with Him, He was the one who picked me up and He was the one who fed me with manna. It was truly an Emmanuel experience for me. I know that God-is-with-us. Everything was really put in place for me this Lent. I cannot relate all these incidents. To do so would take days to write. But i just wanna share one particular incident.

2 Wednesdays ago, I was very un-motivated to do anything and just wanted to slack by watching television. When I switched on the tv, the movie "John Rambo" was just beginning. And I watched the whole movie. After the show, I thought to myself: "This is a real waste of time to me. Why did I even watch it? I could have made use of this time to start on my essay due the following Tuesday." I decided to push to the next day to start on my paper. On Thursday, I could have gone home early but somehow I decided to stay in school to start on my paper. As I was about to begin, I received a phone call from a friend who needed to talk to someone. So I just put down everything and went to talk to him.

While waiting for him, I was praying to God that He would use me as His instrument to reach out to this friend. And a scene from the movie just came back to my mind. During the movie, there was a part where a pastor was praying the Peace Prayer of St Francis. So I decided to pray this as an opening prayer with my friend. And it really touched him a lot. Then he started to pour out his struggles to me. Somehow, I can provide him with counsel using spiritual and intellectual guidance given to me during my regular meet-ups with my SD. I certainly find it very amazing because everything had been placed properly for me for a particular reason, even watching a crap show like John Rambo is useful to God!

But the most amazing part for me is that my SD has asked me to reflect on the passage of Jesus & The Rich Young Man. For weeks, I just cannot get anything out of it. However, on that day, I finally realised what it meant - to give up everything and follow Him and He will give me treasures in heaven. I put down my assignments and followed Christ to reach out to a broken man that night. A crazy thing that one can do judging that he has not started on an assignment due soon. But God is faithful. When I reached home that night, an email was sent by my lecturer to my class to state that the deadline for this particular assignment has been extended. I was truly amazed and awed for 2 reasons: 1) even when my prayer life [was bad] during this time, He was still faithful in helping me; 2) how He managed to use a wretched man like me as His instrument, with everything put in place for me.

Yap. So basically this is just a reflection cum testimony for me. Let's pray for one another that this upcoming Holy Week will be filled be grace and love.



- posted on behalf of Moses Loh