A lenten reflection

Good Friday is almost here, so how has it been for me?

Honestly I have not been following much but I would say it has been a different Lent for me from the passed few Lent. I am not able to go online everyday, so it has been difficult for me to keep track of what's going on or to pick a few guys and girls to pray for on a certain nights. Everyday's work has been quite a distraction for me to follow and concentrate on God.

In the past I was quite lost on what I can do during lent. Beside every Friday not eating meat, pray more and be more aware of your own behaviour by trying to be good, I really had no idea what else I can do. During lent I always hear people said what are they going to sacrifice. I have been wanting to do it too but I never really got down to think about it.

However now despite my busy schedule, I managed to pray more, fast and sacrifice from something that I like. I realised that when you are really focused on God, there will be a lot a lot of temptations around you.

I have gastric problem so my mum does not allow me to skip a meal and moreover to fast. However I told myself since I cannot fast but I should just not eat other food besides the 3 meals, that includes on Friday too. Strangely that only on 1 or 2 Thursdays and Fridays ago I would crave for eating the packet of chips that has been all along in my bags for passed few days. One of the Thursdays, I was having a late breakfast outside with my mum and I decided to fast for lunch. My mum had no choice because she didn't cook and in the end she sort of fasted with me too. She didn't take lunch but only something small. In the late afternoon, I was getting hungry and I started to turn to God. I prayed the whole rosary offering up intentions. I felt better but afraid might have gastric so took one piece of biscuits.

When I was thinking what can I sacrifice, I started to think of the daily things that I like to have. Food definitely is a must to have. Sleep is a necessity for focusing at work. Other than that I hardly have time for anything else? Therefore I thought of cold drinks which most of the time I never failed to get. I started abstaining from buying drinks and chose to drink something plain like water? It helped me to save a lot of money. Definitely temptations are there everyday and honestly I seem to be looking forward to the days that I can have some cooling drinks and nice desserts. However I thought of Jesus suffering much more than me and I just concentrate on drinking my "uncool" water. I did give in to temptations once or twice by buying fruits and only realising that I gave in after I felt good eating it because it was cold too.

I have not been treating Jesus the best way too. It was the first time that I was not able to be nice to the people I don't know. I was just so frustrated with the staffs there when I went with my dad for his appointment. Perhaps I was pretty stress with the many appointments my dad had and just so frustrated when my time was wasted. When I was working, I just flared over the phone when I cannot get things done my way. It was just so difficult to be still and calm.

The journey with Christ is sometimes very lonely. There were times that He sent a lot of people to support you but as you and people moved on, things changed. There are times that we need to learn to be alone and just rely on God. I have been busy working and the people around me are not people who can exactly support me but more of showing them God's love. Therefore I find it tiring and difficult to walk on this journey. However I am trying to rely on God especially during this time of Lent when I relate how Jesus situation was like, lonely and full of temptation around Him.



- posted on behalf of Lynette Chen