It’s the third week of Lent, and another 25 days from now we will be celebrating Easter. This Lenten season I decided to go running, receive Holy Eucharist every day, and fast during lunchtime.
Yes, it’s difficult to fulfill, yet, only with the help of God, I have kept my Lenten resolutions. You see, I mentioned going Mass every day; but the funny thing I encountered is that I’ve ended up asking myself: “Why do i go to church?”, “Why do I need to believe in God?”
It was a sudden change of thinking one day, but it was so dramatic that I even thought of leaving the Church and just living my life. Why did I even think this way? I had met someone who doesn’t believe in the existence of God. That person’s character, attitude and everything else about him/her, however, is so much different from people from Church. I wanted that person as my role model because that person shows politeness and humility.
After attending my monthly retreat with my community, though, I came to a realisation that God didn’t call me to be someone great, but to be faithful just like what Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta said “God did not call me to be successful but to be Faithful”.
As we draw near to Easter, may we hold fast to the weapon the Church gave to us and be faithful to Him who has never fails to be unfaithful.
Alphonsus, thanks for sharing the mini-crisis you went through. I’m glad your community retreat has helped you. I believe these periods of doubt are signs of a good Christian. It is certainly better to ask why we worship “God” and to ask if God exists than to go to every Sunday without ever questioning anything. I believe a true and honest search is every human being’s duty, and every true and honest search will lead us there. Ask, seek, knock. That’s the challenge of Christ.
There is, of course, much to day on God’s existence. It’s hard to take it that God’s followers are bad examples. But a migrane does not make a person terminally ill. In truth, the behaviour of Christians should not matter in the objective questioning His existence. Would we say that the math professor faked his degree just because his student failed every math test? In reality, there is much stronger evidence that He exists than there is evidence that He doesn’t.
It is my prayer that each Christian, or would be Christian reading your reflection will begin the quest to ask and seek. I pray that all of us be objective, and when the evidence shows itself, that we be humble to accept the grace God offers.
Please feel free to comment on Alphonsus' sharing; better yet, share with us all your journey in Lent so far - experiences, difficulties, encounters with God, etc...
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