"'Scuse me, you want tissue?"

That was an offer I got a few years back on an Ash Wednesday evening when I was in a train, on the way home. A concerned lady had noticed the obvious stain on my head, and out of generosity and kindness, she offered me a Kleenex.

Of course, she didn't know why I had ash-mark on my head.

It's ok if someone outside of the faith fails to understand why we would put ash somewhere on our body that is so public. It's ok if they think it's ludicrous that we don't wipe them off. What is not ok, however, is if we who receive the ashes do not know why.

So why do we have to set apart a day to have ash imposed on our heads? Of course, one of the key reasons is that mourning and repentance were represented by fasting, wearing sack cloth, sitting in dust and ashes, and putting dust and ashes on the head. For me, there are three reasons that make the imposition of the cross a richly meaningful experience, every time.

Harmless dirt outside, harmful dirt inside.
One of the most common observances about the ashes is that it's dirty. But I think that hits the bulls' eye. Are we not smudged in sin anyway? How is it that we care so much for the tiny stain on the top of the head and not bother to remove the larger stain that resides in the heart? Paul wore a T-shirt on Sunday that he was so proud of, he made us take a photo of it. The T-shirt read: "The toughest stains are those that reside in the heart". How very true. The ashes represent the burden of sin we carry in our lives. It is the same burden that will add on to the Lord's load on the way to His death. We ought not to be ashamed of having ashes on our heads. We ought to be ashamed of the dirt we leave in our hearts. When we wash them off upon at home tonight, may we make a silent profession to the Lord:

Lord, the stain on my forehead does no damage to me, yet I am vain to make sure it doesn't embarrass me. The stains on my heart no one can see but You. They do so much damage to me, yet I haven't washed them off quickly enough. As I wash off these ashes, I promise You I will also humble myself and wash away my sins by Your love.

I belong to someone, and it isn't myself.
A mark on the forehead is a representation of ownership. When we mark ourselves with the sign of the cross, we declare that we belong to the Lord - we do not belong to our work, we do not belong to our leisure, we do not belong to ourselves. Rev 7:3 describes the "servants of God" as having been sealed on their foreheads. Seven chapters later in Rev 14:1, we find that the mark on these servants' heads was "[the Lamb's] name and His Father's name". In quite stark contrast, Rev 13:16 reveals that the servants of "the beast" also have "a mark on his right hand or on his forehead", and the mark was "the name of the beast" (v. 17). When we see the ashes on our heads, we must remember who'd boss. The ship can only have one captain. Do you follow the captain's directions or are you your own captain?

Lord, you are the captain of my ship, the King of my heart. Remind me that I belong to You, and that I can trust You as leader, to do the best for me.

The reality of man: all in all, I am nothing.
Ashes are also a reminder of our reality. We are but dust. Ash would be all we are if we are burned up. Yet, God fashioned us to such beautiful creatures, with intellect and will to know and choose right from wrong. Many a times, however, I get over my head and get tempted into thinking that I made me what I am. The ashes remind me of what God told Adam in Genesis 3:19: "… dust you are, and to dust you will return". That God can make me what I am out of dust, simply leaves me in awe of Him.

You are the Creator of all things good. Yet, I choose to reject the certainty of your plans for my plans that are uncertain. Remind me, Lord, of what I truly am without You, so that I will turn my will towards You.

The Lord protects
Biblical evidence also point to "the mark" as a symbol of protection. Cain, even as he suffered punishment for killing his brother, also enjoyed God's protection (Gn 4). But I think particularly relevant for us in this season, Ezekiel also points out God's protection for those who lament over sin: "Go throughout the city of Jerusalem and put a mark on the foreheads of those who grieve and lament over all the detestable things that are done in it" (9:4). No one was to be spared, except "anyone who [had] the mark" (v. 6).

Lord, You personally watch over every sinner who laments his sin and desires to see change. You will help those who turn away from themselves and who turn to You. May the ashes on our foreheads be, along with all our acts of penance this Lent, a sign of our desire to change.

This leads us to today's first reading, where we see Jonah dragging his feet to announce the upcoming destruction of Nineveh. The people of Nineveh, to the disgust of Jonah, listened, repented and believed. They also engaged in exterior acts of penance to show how repentant their hearts were. They never took God's mercy and forgiveness for granted. They dared not seek to exchange their acts for forgiveness. "Who knows? God may yet relent…" (Jonah 3:9) was their best hope.

God did relent, as he inspired the writer to say. He relented because "when God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion" (v. 10).

So you see, the ashes on our heads are not some gimmicky way of spreading the faith. It is the symbol of the fact that we are poor sinners, precisely bad ambassadors to His Name. Yet, it's a symbol of how much He still gives and loves you and I.

As we have ashes put on our heads today, I pray that we recognise the real interior problems. That we realise the harsh reality of our nothingness, and that we belong to the only one who can make us into something. May the Lord see what we do; may He see how we turn away from evil, and show us compassion.